A Journey Over the Storms

un-vague-d

2009-12-16T05:09:00.001-08:00

there's something about this day...
something about the appointed oblivion.

for this day is the birth of a death...
the death of a loyal friend named [Vague]...
the detachment of his nerves from my senses...
the melting of its opaque fears from my heart.

today he died in silence...
for his screams are even weaker than his whispers.
he cried but no one heard, he pumped but his wells were all dried.

unto this day, he died not that he's tired of living...
but because it was time for his ghosts to be buried.

will his death be a scare? or, shall his tomb be unsealed?
for if someone mourns at his intended grave,
it will be a curse to the royalty of his [end].

may this day mark his martyrdom,
because he died for the sake of faith...
and the fulfillment of [one]'s inner truth.

November 14

2009-11-14T04:42:00.001-08:00

"And Laban said, It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn."
— Gen 29:26

We do not excuse Laban for his dishonesty, but we scruple not to learn from the custom which he quoted as his excuse. There are some things which must be taken in order, and if we would win the second we must secure the first. The second may be the more lovely in our eyes, but the rule of the heavenly country must stand, and the elder must be married first. For instance, many men desire the beautiful and well-favoured Rachel of joy and peace in believing, but they must first be wedded to the tender-eyed Leah of repentance. Every one falls in love with happiness, and many would cheerfully serve twice seven years to enjoy it, but according to the rule of the Lord's kingdom, the Leah of real holiness must be beloved of our soul before the Rachel of true happiness can be attained. Heaven stands not first but second, and only by persevering to the end can we win a portion in it. The cross must be carried before the crown can be worn. We must follow our Lord in His humiliation, or we shall never rest with Him in glory.

My soul, what sayest thou, art thou so vain as to hope to break through the heavenly rule? Dost thou hope for reward without labour, or honour without toil? Dismiss the idle expectation, and be content to take the ill-favoured things for the sake of the sweet love of Jesus, which will recompense thee for all. In such a spirit, labouring and suffering, thou wilt find bitters grow sweet, and hard things easy. Like Jacob, thy years of service will seem unto thee but a few days for the love thou hast to Jesus; and when the dear hour of the wedding feast shall come, all thy toils shall be as though they had never been—an hour with Jesus will make up for ages of pain and labour.

Jesus, to win Thyself so fair,
Thy cross I will with gladness bear:
Since so the rules of heaven ordain,
The first I'll wed the next to gain.

(from Spurgeon's Morning & Evening, PC Study Bible formatted electronic database Copyright © 1999, 2003, 2006 by Biblesoft, Inc. All rights reserved.)

A Hymn of Hope

2009-07-20T01:06:00.000-07:00

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow
words and music by Ira Stanphill

I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from it's sunshine,
For it's skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said,
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Refrain:
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

Ev'ry step is getting brighter,
As the golden stairs I climb;
Ev'ry burden's getting lighter;
Ev'ry cloud is silver lined.
There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eyes,
At the ending of the rainbow,
Where the mountains touch the sky.

Refrain:
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

I don't know about tomorrow,
It may bring me poverty;
But the One Who feeds the sparrow,
Is the One Who stands by me.
And the path that be my portion,
May be through the flame or flood,
But His presence goes before me,
And I'm covered with His blood.

Refrain:
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

*******************
Oh Lord, I desire to see a glimpse of an invisible certainty
but today, let my faith abound in the assurance of Your sovereignty.
I shall not fear, I shall not falter... I'm laying it down.
I’m trusting you now... please hold my tomorrow’s tightly...
...in the mercies of Your hands.

undeserved

2009-05-02T04:30:00.000-07:00

there was a man whose name he can’t bear,
whose heart he has fractured,
whose soul he sold to his flesh.

what’s left of him when he has nothing more to offer?
his life lying bare, testified by a festering extinction.
search him and be dismayed. seek but find him barren.

oh if he could beg, will you give him more than mercy?
if he could chase you, can he even get close?
his eyes deplete in tears, will you even catch its last drop?

in his mirror, he costs a penny made of wood.
he’s lined up on the destitute’s merchandise, tagged as “junk.”
will you take him even if he’s valued less than a bargain?

this wretched man, leave him…
and he remains as he is…
he will stay where he is…
he will lay down bare and unsafe.
he will not run…
he will not fight…
he will have nothing…
nothing but abandoned hopes.

will a princess come and recognize this man?
in her royalty, will she come down to stare at his mess?
will she do? that she may conceive the pedestal in him?
for at the tomb of his buried vow,
lies the key to the abundance of his inner heart.
and the Unworthy will find his worth?
in the heart of her love... her undeserved love?

but still… a princess may come with frail hope.
for there is a Love more than she can expose…
more than worth can value,
more than an adjective can exaggerate,
more than the heart can desire,
more than time can tick...
for it is more than life itself.

what can build a man and restore him from death?
who can make him whole without the remnants of his broken pieces?
nothing but the Love of God…
no one but the God who gave His son, left His royalty,
and made His love known thru the Cross...
that this man might see... the Significance of his Insignificance. ***quoted from "Indescribable" by Louie Giglio

the Undeserving Man...
he thought he can escape the unmerited unconditional Love of God.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” –Romans 5:8

can there be a day?

2009-01-01T22:49:00.000-08:00

there is a day in a moment,
there is a moment in a day yet
can there be a day that you are not a moment?
i flood my day so you can't stay,
still i fail so i ask anyway,
can there be a day that you're too far away?
thinking i could run today and turn my back,
so quickly i'm filled with lack and so again i ask,
can there be a day that your picture dims blurred in black?
i am a blind eye inside your heart...
a captive of your charm, a slave by your radiance.
can there be a day that i don't think of you?
can there be a day that you don't invade the minutes of a day?
can there be a day that i don't wait to watch your icons play?
can there be a day...? how i wish there was a day...
oh i desperately need that day that you don't stay in a day...
oh i wish there was a day...
but it never came...
it never comes...
it never will... unless a day turns into...
...a lifetime or sadly a plain yesterday.

can there be a day where you remain in that day...
...and you stay because you choose it that way?
can there be a day when you speak of what i crave you to say?
yes, i believe there can be a day...
...but it's just a day where illusions spray.

i hope you don't mind if i stay with you in a day,
so i could ask you one last time if i may...
can there be a day when the day i talked about today...
...is the same day that you experience everyday?
can there be a day? may it be... Today.

The Famous Downfall

2008-12-24T19:17:00.000-08:00

There is a ladder that has no peak.
Its top is its bottom,
Each stair climbs downward.

“Better” is infinite, a cycle of exhaustion,
Competition that frustrates adrenaline.
Trophy… an immediate yesterday.

A race of vanity, endless in pursuit,
Centered in self, a tentative state,
An empty fame, a broken ego.

Decorations of a Selfdom,
Witnessed by the mist,
A rotten crown, a wormed throne.

Gain pride, wound your soul,
Lose to unlimited blaming,
Blinded by your fault.

How high is defeat? How silent is shame?
Oh champion of losers,
Be honored by ignorance.

Running away backwards.
Haunted by escapes, crippled by lies.
Corrupted in deceit.

I invented my glory and betrayed myself,
Drowned in a plethora of false confidence.
The Viper’s venom, poisoned my hopes.

Glory ---– the only thing u can’t own.
A fool loses if he dare claims.
But the humble wins before a war begins.

Humility is unknown to a devil.
God gives grace to the humble.
My fame is destroyed, let my reputation be crushed.
Still, my head is lifted… for Christ is my glory.

“But You, O LORD, are a shield for me,
My glory and the One who lifts up my head.” –Psalm 3:3

A Child and A Mother

2008-05-20T07:22:00.000-07:00

When he was still small, you were his refuge.
When he was sick, he can't get well without you beside.
He asks questions, you answer, and he believes all you say.
When you hug him, it's the safest place he can be.

He grew up, you've always been there full of love.
He's confused, you were his guide.
He fell in love, you wanted to make sure he'll be with the right one.
When he was broken, you cried more tears than he did.

Then he became a mess.
And he became silent.
He kept his pain not because he does not trust you...
But because you don't deserve what he has become.
He has his own choices now, he doesn't want you to suffer with him.
But he craves for your embrace, he seeks your advise but prefers to be alone.
He doesn't want himself to be your burden.

He may have stopped being your child, the child you wanted him to be.
But you will remain his mother... you endured him for 9 months and it's worth his life.
You desired a perfect child that he may reflect a perfect mother.
He is not a perfect child but it's not because you're not a perfect mother.
It's because he is a human, a person just like you.

What happens when a child becomes independent?
What happens when a mother abandons a child or a child rejects his mother?
When a man refuses to be a child and a woman surrendered her being-a-mother... there will never be a home called "family."

A child will run away and have his own life...
A mother may get tired and grow old...
But one day, the child will have his own piece of his Mother's being-a-mother to him.

Crossing the Bridge

2008-05-19T23:17:00.000-07:00

ITATAWID SA LANDAS
by Arnel de Pano

Sa bawat dahon ng aklat ng buhay
bakas ang luha na tumatangay
inaanod ang pag asa unti unting nawawala
haligi ng munting daigdig ko

Minsay naglalamig na rin ang araw
ihip ng hangin ay gumiginaw
nanlulumo nalulumbay, hanap ay isang gabay
sa piling Mo'y hindi mabibigo

Koro:

Kahit magunaw man ang daigdig
lisanin man ng init ang mundong nanlalamig
kahit na humayo sa daang magkabilay bangin
Ikaw pa rin o Dios, Ikaw pa rin
pag ibig Mo'y hindi magwawakas
kalinga Mo o Dios ang siyang magbibigay lakas
sa anumang panganib ginintuan ang Yong pagliligtas
panatag at tiyak, itatawid Mo sa landas

Kung ang tadhanay di alam ang guhit
pawang sagabal ang sinasabi
Ikaw ang syang tatawagan at saro koy aapawan
ng pag asang kailanman ay dulot Mo

Koro

tulay:

Itatawid, ililigtas,
ihahatid hanggang wakas
hanggang wakas

Koro

itatawid mo sa ........ landas

********************

Life is full of transitions. The pain of adjustments... the tragedy of mistakes... the joy of a lesson's reward.

This song makes tough times a moment of surrender and hope to my Keeper, my Jesus. Surrounded by cliffs and pits, God's hand is always deeper than my fall... the other side of the island turns out to be a better and stronger Me.